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"The Art of Sucking D*ck" by Jordan Peterson (pt.1-12)

Peter Welch is a writer and programmer. Every friend I have with a job that involves picking up something heavier than a laptop more than twice a week eventually finds a way to slip something like this into conversation: "Bro, you don't work hard. I just worked a hour week digging a tunnel under Mordor with a screwdriver. They have a point. Mordor sucks, and it's certainly more physically taxing to dig a tunnel than poke at a keyboard unless you're an ant. But, for the sake of the argument, can we agree that stress and insanity are bad things? Welcome to programming.

And if he is having trouble cumming?

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Losing focus? He is stressed. I put my wet lips around his shaft as I start stroking his chocolate cock with my tounge. Ugh makes me wett just thinking about it. Me too I like to suck my boyfriend Gavin black cock I like to suck his balls just like you he makes me so wet he fuck my tight pussy and then he licks me dry. Thanks for providing such a great resource!

One thing I will say, while enthusiasm is excellent and even if you lack skill, it can be more than made up for with enthusiasm, a better blow job will always be one that is offered, not expected.

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I used to be decent at sucking but absolutely hated it because it was expected of me. From my experience and talking to some of my girlfriends, it would be nice if more guys understood that. Thanks Sugar Plum! The best for me was the thicker dicks I love having my mouth filled completely cocksucker. I get turned down constantly.

I really love making my boyfriend cum when I suck his big fat juicy cock. He loves when I run my tongue up and down softly along his cock. This is a great way of making him ready to cum. I love with taste, it burns my throat but somehow that just makes me more horny. Oh thank you for making this! My bf loves bj and I want to please him more by being better at it. Thank you for the tips! My boo. Any tips on how to hit the nerve that runs along the bottom of his penis?

Try focusing using your tongue and not taking him into your mouth. First off. And finally take it from a guy that lasts long as well. Try getting him to stop masturbating for few weeks and up to a month. Give a show.

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I like nipping the tips my fingers before delving them in my mouth. Get between the fingers and giving long licks from the base of my palm to the tip of my fingers. Get that hand nice and wet Very Important. Unlike a vagina that lubricates well, so we can stick in a dry finger without too much discomfort, a penis gets hard.

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Not wet. Tongue around and along girth as you thumb the head. This helps with the jaw ache and keeps him revved and wet. These are sensitive little dudes, so tread carefully. Ask him what he likes and better to start off too gentle than too rough. Omg he fucked me so hard because of this thank you so much?

I went from never to cumming hard from sucking off his fat cock especially when he would rip his cock out NY mouth grab my hair and he talked to me so filthy and straight nasty while I would be face down ass up that when he would slap my hands away, grab my hair and squeeze his fat cock hard and fast then call me his little cumslut as he blasts his huge loads all over my face and I was told not to think about getting anything to wipe it off until he knows his balls were empty, my pussy got wet and cockslapping My cum drench face and looking up at hiM as he kept calling me his cumslut makes me cum hard.

IT turned me on so much he since had told me he wants me to suck his friends off too because he knows how much that would turn me on and him too but he likes showing me off by! What a change from how i used to be. Oral and anal slut is really how I love it and all his friends love to cum on my face and see it on me with cocks in my stretched mouth. My husband says I give him the most intense orgasms. My wife truly loves and enjoys sucking and deepthroating me to my balls so she can always swallow my load many times a day for me for 20 years we met when she was 16 I was 17 we got married her 18 me 19 been the greatest woman ever to marry deepthroating n cumm swallowing for me since our first date I was the first cock she ever sucked n swallowed cumm from n she loved it then and lots more now I get 6 deepthroat cumm swallowed bj everyday.

Many of these comments are ridiculous. Nobody gets 6 blow jobs a day especially after 20 years of marriage. I call Bull crap. All men have the same body parts, so to a point, all men have similar pleasure responses to various types of stimulation. If your girl enjoys being licked by you, does it make her a lesbian? If a straight man enjoys having a woman penetrate his butt, does it mean he wants sex with men?

If a girl loves getting anal, does it make her a gay man? If a woman likes being licked by a man, does it make her a lesbian? If a woman likes getting anal sex, does it make her a gay man? No and no.

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If you enjoy sex acts with women, that makes you straight. If you enjoy sex acts with men, that makes you gay, and if you enjoy sex acts with men AND women, that makes you bisexual. He has never cum during oral from any woman in his life, and he hates having his balls touched in any way, ever, because it is very painful.

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I did it once years and years ago and threw up. He normally cums on my stomach or ass. So I had the same problem with my husband I literally through up all night it was awful. Like WTH? I need help!!! I want him to cum faster than usual. My girlfriend gave me the best blowy due to this advice!

I particularly love the point where she spread my thick load all over her tits. Thank you BGB! I have never sucked a cock but since recently it has been resting on my mind i wanna suck the fucking life out of my mans cock i want to criple him and leave his cock jumping for days i wanna get as nasty as i can be i wanna be his freak?

A lot of women need lessons on how to do it properly since many women are very clueless when it comes to doing that unfortunately. What do I do with a small mouth? Like when i see him i get horny for sucking him dry. I am a kinky one?

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I love sucking and deep-throating COK. But the boyfriend that I have now is so boring and we hardly have sex.

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I do alot of masterbating. Especially having his buttcheeks massaged with a buttplug in. Any tips to feel more confident? Try starting at the beginning of the Blow Job Guide. Perhaps someday. Can anyone suggest anything different, these tips are very helpful but if like some tips about using my mouth, I feel like I do different things but I like to spice it up, it make it fun for him but fun for me seeing his reaction lol it makes me so wet.

I would really like to deep throat but I have a horrible gag reflex any tips on the best way to deep throat without gagging?

The Deep Throating Guide will help a lot. Your email address will not be published. Omg omg I gave a bj to my boyfriend and he fucked me better.

But I have no one to do it with! You see, I practice. I have an absolutely horrible gag reflex. Thats how i am i have ro reslly focus to have an orgasim and 69 is too distracting. Wow incredibly rude and disrespectful. Anyone is welcomed. The only homophobe is you. This guide will help.

Hi Sean I struggle to make my boyfriend come with just a blowjob and end up having to end it with a hand job instead, he says he enjoys oral sex more than the hand jobs but when he thinks he is close, it just never happens.

Cuff his balls in your hand with spit and massage them gently and caressingly. Adding into Sean: Give a show. In short, nothing here is helpful for my situation, but for the rest of you, happy sucking! You and I are a match lol. Try talking to him about your anxiety or even talking to a professional. I wanted to better my skills so hopefully this helps for tomorrow morning? I can say im better than I ever been and the pleasure is all mine.

Most women nowadays want the fish instead of the beef. Go figure. Leave a Reply Cancel reply Your email address will not be published. Read First: BJ Overview 2. Giving Head - The Finish 5. Blow Job Positions 7. Deep Throating 8. Swallowing 9. Reader Tips Dirty Talking Guide 1.

Read First: Dirty Talk 2.

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Advanced Dirty Talk 4. Intense Phone Sex Orgasm Guide 1. Orgasm Overview 2. Fingering Yourself 4.

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G Spot Orgasms 5. Make Yourself Squirt 6. Vibrator Guide 7. Dildo Guide 8. Clitoral Orgasms 9. They have a point. Mordor sucks, and it's certainly more physically taxing to dig a tunnel than poke at a keyboard unless you're an ant.

But, for the sake of the argument, can we agree that stress and insanity are bad things?

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Welcome to programming. Imagine joining an engineering team. You're excited and full of ideas, probably just out of school and a world of clean, beautiful designs, awe-inspiring in their aesthetic unity of purpose, economy, and strength. You start by meeting Mary, project leader for a bridge in a major metropolitan area. Mary introduces you to Fred, after you get through the fifteen security checks installed by Dave because Dave had his sweater stolen off his desk once and Never Again.

Fred only works with wood, so you ask why he's involved because this bridge is supposed to allow rush-hour traffic full of cars full of mortal humans to cross a foot drop over rapids. Don't worry, says Mary, Fred's going to handle the walkways. What walkways? Well Fred made a good case for walkways and they're going to add to the bridge's appeal.

Of course, they'll have to be built without railings, because there's a strict no railings rule enforced by Phil, who's not an engineer. Nobody's sure what Phil does, but it's definitely full of synergy and has to do with upper managementwhom none of the engineers want to deal with so they just let Phil do what he wants. Sara, meanwhile, has found several hemorrhaging-edge paving techniques, and worked them all into the bridge design, so you'll have to build around each one as the bridge progresses, since each one means different underlying support and safety concerns.

Tom and Harry have been working together for years, but have an ongoing feud over whether to use metric or imperial measurements, and it's become a case of "whoever got to that part of the design first. Also, the bridge was designed as a suspension bridge, but nobody actually knew how to build a suspension bridge, so they got halfway through it and then just added extra support columns to keep the thing standing, but they left the suspension cables because they're still sort of holding up parts of the bridge.

Nobody knows which parts, but everybody's pretty sure they're important parts. After the introductions are made, you are invited to come up with some new ideas, but you don't have any because you're a propulsion engineer and don't know anything about bridges. Would you drive across this bridge? If it somehow got built, everybody involved would be executed.

Yet some version of this dynamic wrote every single program you have ever used, banking software, websites, and a ubiquitously used program that was supposed to protect information on the internet but didn't. Every programmer occasionally, when nobody's home, turns off the lights, pours a glass of scotch, puts on some light German electronica, and opens up a file on their computer.

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It's a different file for every programmer. Sometimes they wrote it, sometimes they found it and knew they had to save it.

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They read over the lines, and weep at their beauty, then the tears turn bitter as they remember the rest of the files and the inevitable collapse of all that is good and true in the world. This file is Good Code. It has sensible and consistent names for functions and variables.

It's concise. It doesn't do anything obviously stupid.

Rule #1 - Take The Initiative

It has never had to live in the wild, or answer to a sales team. It does exactly one, mundane, specific thing, and it does it well. It was written by a single person, and never touched by another. It reads like poetry written by someone over thirty.

The How To Suck Cock Like A Pornstar: 14 Vital Techniques. Sean Jameson There is a massive difference between giving your man oral sex and sucking his dick. Oral sex is certainly a sensual and enjoyable experience for your man while sucking his cock is a more intense, erotic, inhibition-free, animalistic act. As a male I know how to suck. Apr 30,   Programming Isn't Manual Labor, But It Still Sucks. Share. Tweet. Share. because he's a dick, and now all your snowflakes are urine and you can't even find the cat. Mashable is the go-to Author: Peter Welch. Aug 21,   9 Blow Job Tricks You Should Try, According To Experts. By Aly Walansky. You can use your hands while your mouth is on their cock, or you can suck on the balls themselves.

Every programmer starts out writing some perfect little snowflake like this. Then they're told on Friday they need to have six hundred snowflakes written by Tuesday, so they cheat a bit here and there and maybe copy a few snowflakes and try to stick them together or they have to ask a coworker to work on one who melts it and then all the programmers' snowflakes get dumped together in some inscrutable shape and somebody leans a Picasso on it because nobody wants to see the cat urine soaking into all your broken snowflakes melting in the light of day.

Next week, everybody shovels more snow on it to keep the Picasso from falling over. There's a theory that you can cure this by following standards, except there are more "standards" than there are things computers can actually do, and these standards are all variously improved and maligned by the personal preferences of the people coding them, so no collection of code has ever made it into the real world without doing a few dozen identical things a few dozen not even remotely similar ways.

The first few weeks of any job are just figuring out how a program works even if you're familiar with every single language, framework, and standard that's involved, because standards are unicorns.

I spent a few years growing up with a closet in my bedroom. The closet had an odd design. It looked normal at first, then you walked in to do closet things, and discovered that the wall on your right gave way to an alcove, making for a handy little shelf.

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Then you looked up, and the wall at the back of the alcove gave way again, into a crawlspace of utter nothingness, where no light could fall and which you immediately identified as the daytime retreat for every ravenous monster you kept at bay with flashlights and stuffed animals each night. This is what it is to learn programming.

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You get to know your useful tools, then you look around, and there are some handy new tools nearby and those tools show you the bottomless horror that was always right next to your bed. For example, say you're an average web developer. You're familiar with a dozen programming languages, tons of helpful libraries, standards, protocols, what have you.

You still have to learn more at the rate of about one a week, and remember to check the hundreds of things you know to see if they've been ated or broken and make sure they all still work together and that nobody fixed the bug in one of them that you exploited to do something you thought was really clever one weekend when you were drunk.

You're all up to date, so that's cool, then everything breaks. Then a non-idiot rightly decided that this was idiotic, which is what the original idiot should have decided, but since he didn't, the non-idiot decided to be a dick and make this a failing error in his new compiler. Then he decided he wasn't going to tell anyone that this was an error, because he's a dick, and now all your snowflakes are urine and you can't even find the cat.

You are an expert in all these technologies, and that's a good thing, because that expertise let you spend only six hours figuring out what went wrong, as opposed to losing your job. You now have one extra little fact to tuck away in the millions of little facts you have to memorize because so many of the programs you depend on are written by dicks and idiots.

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    1. It is a pity, that now I can not express - I am late for a meeting. I will be released - I will necessarily express the opinion.

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