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Do they apologize, while continuing to act in a mean or cruel way? If so, they aren't likely being genuine. Toxic folks use gaslighting techniques to manipulate others.
But it's a common habit of sociopaths, too. They "rely on gaslighting to disempower their victims," Koenig says.
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Sociopaths are not able to show remorse for their negative actions. Klapow says. So no matter what they do, no matter how bad or hurtful, in their mind it was justified and OK. No remorse, no concern.
And that, in its own way, can be manipulative. Since they don't show any remorse, they often have a way of making it seem like they did nothing wrong - even when they totally did. Many sociopaths can get a bit threatening when they're trying to manipulate - though they may cover it up with that aforementioned charm.
As therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW tells Bustle, "Sociopaths often use threats to keep you in their control, such as threats of suicide or saying 'you'll be sorry' for your behavior. This can also be a sign of other personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder.
So it's important not to diagnose anyone as a sociopath, just because they use a threat. It is, however, helpful to know that this is one tactic common to sociopaths when they're trying to manipulate.
Think of a sociopath as a car salesman on steroids; they often know just what to say to make you feel good about yourself, so that you'll be more inclined to do what they want - even if it isn't in your best interest. While it may be tricky, there is a way to see through it, and tell the difference between a genuine compliment and manipulative flattery. As Hershenson says, "Instead of saying they enjoy being with you, a sociopath may say 'you are the most amazing person I've ever met and I can't imagine life without you' even though you've only known them a short time.
That's not to say, of course, that everyone who uses creepy manipulation tactics is a sociopath.
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But it can help to recognize these signs regardless. By knowing what may be an attempt at manipulationyou'll be less likely to get caught up in it all. They Use "Love Bombing" Techniques. They Are Super Charming. They Target Vulnerable People. They Are Quick To Apologize. Amateur Athletic Babe.
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